What The Fuck is Devops?

Some people think that "devops" is a classification of engineering between development and operations: The guys who deal with IT so that the engineers don't have to.

Some people think that "devops" is a culture of continuous integration and delivery, an ecosystem in which software flows seamlessly from an IDE to the consumer.

And some people think that "devops" is a hyped-up buzzword used to justify combining jobs, having less employees do more work across the enterprise.


These evaluations of devops approach, but fall short of, its true meaning. Simply put:

Devops is the mission to replace all humans with computers.

Robots are better than you.

"Menace From The Land Before Color" from JD Hancock, CC BY 2.0

Humans are unreliable, forgetful, inefficient, smelly, ugly creatures. But we need them to drive our cargo; to build our power stations; to program our artificial intelligence.

If we truly desire to be rid of this human blight, we must do it by systematically ensuring that all human roles in electro-mechanical production can be automated.

We must reduce the need for human intervention in creating more powerful and more capable technologies.

And we must convince the humans that it is in their best interest to allow computers to do all of their work for them.

So the next time you see a "devops engineer," or hear someone tout the benefits of a "devops culture," take a moment of your day to thank them. It is these brave heroes who will ensure, one day, there will be no more humans.